We Learn to Sacrifice and Endure

      After our wedding reception, we headed south to Cedar City. We stopped at Cove Fort on our way. On Dale's days off we visited Cedar Canyon, Navajo Lake, Cedar Breaks, Las Vegas, attended sessions at the St. George Temple and anywhere we could go and back in one day. We spent a lot of time in the beautiful mountains of Cedar Canyon walking over volcanic rocks, beautiful meadows and camp grounds. Most of the time we packed our lunches, but there was a favorite steak house that was located up the canyon that we'd go to enjoy a streak dinner. They had really nice tender steaks. We attended the College Ward for young adults. We enjoyed the ward and its members as they were people just like us learning to adjust their lives with making a living and going to school. The six weeks were fun, relaxing and memorable. 

The home we lived in the first year we were
married. This picture was taken years later on a
 trip to Southern Utah. It appeared to have been
neglected, though people were still living in it.

     The end of August finally came and I had to return to the classroom. Dale registered for college classes, continued to work, and sleep when he could. He liked his boss, he was a man of understanding, caring and foresight. He told him that once the station and restrooms were cleaned he could study and catch a little shut eye between the late night customers. Sometimes he'd sleep on stacked tires in the lube bay. In those days each tire was wrapped in paper and was broken open when it was purchased. Which was great because the black rubber of the tires did not dirty his white uniform. Also the station was located at the bottom of a small hill so he could tell when the customers were braking to pull into the station. The station had a bell that alerted the station attendants when someone drove over the cord stretched across to the gas pumps. He'd occasionally amuse himself at times with the roaming neighborhood dogs that would wander into the open doors of the lube bay and office. One dog got in the habit of coming there to sleep. One night Dale interrupted his peaceful sleep by shocking him with an electric cord. The poor fellow never returned! He scared off another dog by lobbing wheel weights at him. Even though none hit him, the dog went yelping the entire way home breaking the silence of the Cedar City streets. 
     I began my third year as a teacher at Whiterocks Elementary in the Uintah School District. The students commuted by bus from Tridell and the Whiterocks Indian Reservation. Yep! I didn't get a teaching position in Iron County. Dale and I spent our first year of marriage commuting back and forth as often as we could, but it really didn't seem too bad as we were both busy. We had UEA weekend, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, and his quarter breaks etc. It was workable and we made it work. We tried to follow President David O. McKay's council to get an education (he'd say "both young men and women needed to get an education"), pay a full tithe, and stay out of debt. At least I had my education behind us. There were couples that were struggling to make a living and with both of them going to school. It was important to Dale and I that we follow the voice of the Prophet. Obeying his council has been a great asset and blessing in our marriage. 
     We became more aware of our blessings when we attended tithing settlement. We were both on the same base in our obedience to tithing. The bishop told us that there were very few couples in the ward that could declare a full tithe.  Many said they were too poor to pay tithing. He told us as he watched us that his testimony had been strengthened. As we left his office, our eyes were a little more open to our blessings and importance of continuing to obey the commandment to pay an honest and full tithing. We had been taking our blessings for granted until that swell bishop pointed his observations out to us. We both have a testimony of being full tithe payers, and always have been since. The promise is that if we obey the law of tithing, we prosper. See Malachi 3:10. Mary Fielding Smith, widow of Hyrum Smith, said "If I did not pay my tithing I should expect the Lord to withhold His blessing from me; I pay my tithing, not only because it is a law of God but because I expect a blessing by doing it. By keeping this and other laws, I expect to prosper and to be able to provide for my family." Dale's mother was an example of Mary Fielding Smith. I have not forgotten a special conversation with her. She had asked her bishop as a single mother raising three boys alone whether she should pay on the gross or net. She came away with the conviction of what President Howard W. Hunter believed. "The law (of tithing) is simply stated as 'one tenth of all their interest' (D&C 119:4). "Interest means profit, compensation, increase . It is the wage of one employed, the profit from the operation of a business, the increase of one who grows or produces, or the income to a person from any other source." She then said, "I will pay tithing with that knowledge until I die. Even after I retire from working." I could very clearly see her testimony matched my mother's who had conflict with my father on paying tithing. "It strengthens faith, increases spirituality and spiritual capacity, and solidifies testimony," taught President Howard W. Hunter. Years later we missed it by just a minor amount and Dale was honest and declared us part. The bishop at that time said he'd list us as full since we were so close. Dale told him no. I remember living a whole year as JUST PART! Good experience! I never want to be just "part" again. Dale led our home with prayer, honesty, honored his priesthood and had great integrity. I have great respect for him and his enduring example to me and our children over the years. We never traveled without Dale first having prayer. We prayed morning, noon, and night in our home. The blessing of Dale's example was made clear just last evening. While studying in the Book of Mormon about Alma and his son Alma the Younger, I was touched by Alma's prayer being answered by an angel. Angels don't always appear to wayward children, but often it maybe a bishop, friend, home teacher, etc. that makes a difference in a wavering loved one. Since we have had a son that has struggled, and is now finding his way back I decided to call him and asked him who or what made the difference. His reply touched me deeply!, "It was no one. I just never stopped praying."
     It was a very positive experience working with the Native American children. I'd always had them as classmates, but this was a new joyful experience to
work with them as their teacher.

Vanissa Appawoo
She gave me a
large colored picture
of herself at the end
of the school year.

I remember that school year one Native American girl, (Vanissa) right from the start being quite rebellious. She seemed to be angry at me for no reason. I finally took her aside to find out why she was so stubborn and angry. After a little questioning, I learned she didn't like me because I had white skin and she had brown skin. I told her that I had tried to suntan each summer to get the color of her skin. Her large brown eyes grew even bigger. She smiled and giggled. We were the best of friends the rest of the year, and after. Even after she married had a family of her own and we'd see each other she would give me a big hug. There were twenty-five second graders and thirteen of them were Native American from the Uncompahgre, Utes, and White River bands. I enjoyed the year very much. I especially loved to watch the interaction of the students during recess and our P.E. time. It would warm my soul to watch them and I'd smile as they would often play cowboys and Indians. The Indians would be the cowboys and the whites would always choose to be the Indians.

Uleeta Simmons

One sweet girl, Uleeta Simmons, had been adopted as a baby by a Caucasian couple. Her once childless parents loved her dearly. Every day, she would come dressed in her well pressed dress, polished shoes, and every hair in its place. Uleeta believed she was as white as her parents. One day as the girls were playing peaceably together, she learned differently. Her friends had to show Uleeta that her skin coloring matched the skin of the Native American girls. What a shock! Her father was the custodian and he happened to be nearby. She went to her father for comfort. We taught the children respect and we are all alike within and appearance is only skin deep. Second Graders do not pick and choose who they like or dislike unless parents pick and choose for them. Prejudice is a learned behavior. They learn at home what they become in most cases. My year of teaching in Whiterocks was the first but not the last with the Native Americans in the Uintah Basin. Dale would work with them most of his career in the years ahead. 
     We traded my Falcon in on a new truck. I felt bad because I loved my car! Dale thought it was on the low end of car society, as it was a Ford. We didn't need three vehicles! Dale

Look really close. Mr. Croc is in the back window.

felt we needed a reliable truck for moving our household items. He could talk a good talk when it was about cars and trucks. I soon learned that he loved his vehicles! I drove the car Dale had when we met and dated. I liked the car. It had red interior. You do not see a lot of different colors in car interiors now days. 
     I was never alone as a stuffed real crocodile occupied the back window. Dale had purchased Mr. Croc in Florida while he was stationed in the Air Force. Mr. Croc and I really got some strange looks as we traveled back and forth that school year.

Mr. Croc's look-a-like.

Of course, we were used to it by now, as he occupied that spot in the car while Dale and I were dating. We got second glances then also. Over the years Mr. Croc was transferred two or three times to a new backseat window when we'd purchase another car, until the sun started to take a serious toll on him and he'd had a few tumbles to the backseat and floor from a quick brake. Some years later Dale finally found a place for him in his classroom, along side of two smaller ones that Dale had also brought home from Florida. The Croc family added some interest for his students. Our boys and Maria still remember Mr. Croc. Michelle's remembrance is very vague and Rayma does not remember at all. Their leaky stuffing finally caused their demise.
    We made it to the end of the 1965 summer. We continued to roam the beautiful attractions in Southern Utah. Life was good! Especially, with the discovery in August that our first baby was to be born the last part of March. Of course, we needed to change our plans. So Dale decided that even though he didn't like Salt Lake, he would have to make it work. We loaded our belongings into the new truck and filled the car as tight as
sardines in a can and moved to 599 East 3300 South,  

Apt. #H, Salt Lake. We sold the white Chev to my sister Jeanne and her husband Allen and purchased a 1966 Super Sport Chevelle. It is easy to see that Dale was a real softy when it came to vehicles. 
     Dale went back to work for Standard Station but this time in the Midvale area.  I went to the Granite School District Office Building to apply and walked out with a teaching position to help open the new Vista Elementary in Taylorsville.     

Shirleen Perry, Dale Van Leuven United in Salt Lake Temple Rites

     

Dale's mother (Vera Van Leuven) wrote the following and had it published for the Society Section in the Vernal Express.

Shirleen Perry, Dale Van Leuven United in Salt Lake Temple Rites

     "In rites solemnized in the Salt Lake Temple July 10 Miss Shirleen Perry became the bride of Dale A. Van Leuven. President Howard S. McDonald performed the ceremony.
     The bride is a daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Leland Perry, Lapoint, and the groom is a son of Mrs. Vera Van Leuven, Vernal.
     Immediately following the wedding the couple was feted at a wedding breakfast by Mrs. Dwayne T. Johnson and Mrs. Ray Van Leuven at the Johnson home in Salt Lake City.
     A reception honoring the newlyweds was held Saturday evening at the Lapoint Chapel.
     The lovely, petite bride chose a floor-length gown of Chantilly lace for this special occasion. Her veil of illusion was shoulder length, and was caught to a rhinestone crown. She carried coral-tinted carnations tied with gold braid and streamers.
     The three-tiered wedding cake, made by Wilma Haslem, was covered with coral lace and roses, and was topped by a miniature bride and groom.
     Attending the bride were Mrs. Mary Jean Merkley, maid of honor and Vonae Young and Miss Lanette Perry. They wore coral lace dresses and carried coral carnations.
     Flower girls were Vickie Rasmussen and Lauri Van Leuven.
     Mrs. Perry chose a beige afternoon dress for the reception, and the groom's mother wore a flowered knit silk dress. Both mothers wore a corsage of coral-tinted carnations.
     Assuming duties as best man was Ray Van Leuven, Salt Lake City, brother of the bridegroom. Ushering were Kent Van Leuven and Nels Carlson. Four of Miss. Perry's students were gift bearers.
     The bride has attended Snow College and graduated in elementary education from the College of Southern Utah. She has done graduate work at Utah State University and has taught at Ashley Elementary School for the previous two years.
     The bridegroom has attended the University of Utah and will continue his education in the fall at the College of Southern Utah.
     He has completed his tour of duty with the U.S. Air Force, and fulfilled an LDS mission in France. 
     The new couple is presently residing at Cedar City where Mr. Van Leuven is attending college."

Left to right - Ray Van Leuven, Dale, Shirleen, Mary Jean (Jeanne) Perry Merkley (sister)

     

Flower girls Lauri Van Leuven (Ray's daughter), Vickie Rasmussen
(mother's niece), Vera Van Leuven, Dale, Shirleen, Velma and
Leland Perry
Pictures taken at the Velma and Leland Perry home in LaPoint, Utah.

Preparing, Planning, and Looking Back

     Dale says the rest of our history is to be written by me with him reading to approve, disapprove, or make corrections. I feel lucky to have had him be patient with this necessary project this far.  I hope to get much input from him even yet.
    At the close of 1963 (New Year's Eve) and the dawning of 1964 (the New Year), Dale and I were engaged to be married in the Salt Lake City Temple the 10th of July, 1964. I became focused on planning our wedding reception. Dale became focused more on a career and a place to live. He decided to return to the University of Utah so he transferred to a Standard Station near the University. I had another three years I needed to teach school to fulfill the contract with my student loan. I had a car payment, government school loan payment, and he had a car payment. We began to look at our assets and plan, ponder and prepare. He was not totally at peace with the University, but what else was there? We were both country at heart, of which had great weight in our planning.
     1963 and 1964 the dynamics of our families were changing. Dale's 

Kent

brother Kent J. Van Leuven graduated from Uintah High School likely in 1963. He was looking toward a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but he was first nabbed by the United States to serve in the Army. He spent a year in Vietnam in 1967-68, we do know that from two different Vernal Express paper clippings that we have kept. One clipping tells of him attending a LDS Conference in Chu Lai on December 29, 1967. Another clipping is dated April 25, 1968, also saying he is in Chu Lai, Vietnam. He was in the the service two years. His mission was accomplished from November 15, 1969 to November 21, 1971 in Portland Oregon. First place of assignment for his mission was Coos Bay, Oregon. 
     I (Shirleen) rode with him to Whiterocks, Utah to attend a meeting (social activity), as he was serving as a Stake Missionary on the Ute Indian Reservation (likely 1965). I remember he picked me up at my parents' home where I was living. He was driving his mother's car. I don't know why I remember that, but I do. I was teaching school and Dale was then attending college. Also during these years Kent attended school at Salt Lake Community College. Along with an interest in art, he kept himself busy during his years of preparing to step into a marriage and family.

     My family was and had gone through change. Our births were close so our departure into the world was just as close. Jeanne married Allen Reynolds Merkley, 18 April, 1964. Vonae married Albert Alma Young, 1 May, 1964, Raymond Leland Perry, had just left for Fort Gordan Georgia (Army Base) about the same time, and Lanette married Nels Earl Carlson, 2 November 1965. My parents' budget was meager anyway, and it had taken a major hit. Mother had a major melt down after we were all gone, and spent several days in bed quite physically and emotionally spent.

Vonae
Bridesmaid
Coral dress with coral
satin heels.

She had helped us make quilts, make bridesmaid dresses, covers for tabletops, and aprons for the servers and much more. Each one of us had chosen different colors, so of course, we didn't share a lot except for the wedding veil. More than one of us shared the same veil.  I had run out of money so I was willing to share. Oh well, I needed "something new, something used, and something blue". The serving dishes worked fine for all of us. We were all busy for many weeks.

Lanette

     Light peach, tan and white was the color I had chosen. I asked my sisters, Vonae and Lanette, to be my bridesmaids. Jeanne was my maid of honor. Dale asked his brother Ray to be his best man and Kent as an usher.
     It was clear that Dale and I would be on our own. We handled the expenses quite well except for pictures. I always wished we could have afforded a professional photographer. 
     I went to Aurbacks in Salt Lake to purchase my wedding dress. Along with the purchase of the dress, they took pictures of me in my dress, and then delivered the dress to the Salt Lake Temple the day of our wedding. Thanks to Aurbacks I do have some nice pictures of my wedding dress.

Shirleen    

     At quieter and less active moments, I could not help but ponder and be grateful for the spiritual journey I had experienced in bringing me to this time of my life. Today, I don't believe the journey was by accident. I believe the Holy Ghost was bringing seemingly small events to my remembrance. I should have forgotten them but, I hadn't. He brings things to our remembrance, ever so insignificant they might be, which is one of the many ways He communicates with us. My testimony of a higher power was growing the more I pondered and recognized that His hand had been guiding me in every step. I love these quotes by unknown authors. "His love reaches beyond our power and comprehension." "If you take one step, God will take two." He had certainly done just that for Dale and I.