Rayma Jean

        On the 16 November, 1978 we experienced a loss. I miscarried again. We named this one Rebecca Shirleen. Of course, it was too early to know if it was a boy or a girl but through the gift of the Holy Ghost it was revealed to us. The loss caused me especially, to believe that any addition to our family was over.    Still reeling silently over the 29th of May 1981 death of my beloved brother Raymond, Heavenly Father changed that thought! I was humble and still very much spiritually in tune and still feeling the wonderful gift of the Comforter's healing and still pondering the wonderful spiritual experiences that our families had in his passing in an effort to bring us comfort through the Savior's tender mercies. In late 1981, as we were leaving the chapel after Sacrament Meeting, as we moved with the crowd toward the hallway headed for classes I noticed a beautiful blonde little girl about one or two years of age walking along with the crowd ahead of me. I did not see her face nor recognize the child. As she went around the corner, she then appeared to get lost in the group walking down the hallway, nor did I see her in our ward the following weeks. I thought to myself that the child must have been a visitor. Even though I had not seen the child's face, I knew she was beautiful. The thought that came to mind with a feeling of peace was, "It would have been fun to have a blonde daughter." Yep! I should have known! We soon discovered not long afterward we were expecting. I expressed my desire to Dale that I would like to name our new baby after my brother, even though I realized the baby could be a girl. If a girl, Rayleen was taking first place in our minds, and was still the name in our thoughts when we went to the hospital. A week or two before the baby was born Grandmother Van Leuven suggested Raema if it was a girl. She had heard the name and knew that we wanted to name the baby after Raymond. She spelled it out for us and because of the spelling it did not feel right. Rayleen did not feel quite right either but it was what seemed to be the best choice. After the happy arrival of our new daughter, Dale brought the children to the hospital to meet their new sibling. Maria asked, "Now what is that name that we are going to name her?" I answered her before I hardly had time to think myself, Rayma!
Rayma Jean." Along with it came clearly in my mind the right spelling for us R-A-Y-M-A. Rayma was a added 'ray' of sunshine in our lives. Everyone was overjoyed!

Rayma Jean  

Rayma (nearly 7 months) and Shirleen.
Picture taken at the LaPoint Elementary annual end of the school year
rendezvous, May, 1983

    Halloween Day. I had spent Saturday evening (the 30th), walking with the children around the neighborhood to do their trick-or-treating. Dale stayed home to attended to the spooks that knocked on our door. I could feel labor in its early stages before we left the house, but I had learned with my previous pregnancies, it usually took hours before hard labor started. I was not going to spend it in a hospital bed on the children's anticipated evening. It turned out to be the easiest delivery I had ever experienced, probably because my attention was mainly on other things rather than pain. A Native American teacher I taught with once told me their women did not moan their pain. And I also had not worn myself out on early labor; I'd walked through it around the neighborhood with the children. Rayma arrived early the next morning, October 31st the real calendar Halloween day.
     When she was about 18 months, as we sat in Sacrament meeting one Sunday, I looked down at Rayma sitting on my lap and I realized that there was the little blonde-headed girl that I'd seen some months before.

May 1985
Rayma Jean Van Leuven and Trevor Raymond Carlson
Picture taken at Vonae and Bert's trailer
home in LaPoint.

     My sister Lanette gave birth to Trevor Raymond Carlson on 16 December 1982, just about six weeks after Rayma was born. Lanette was also feeling the need to have tangible evidence to honor our brother. We had both been awarded with our last baby to attach his name to. There are miracles everyday that go unnoticed and yet many believe miracles have ceased or there is not a God. Many would not see that this is a type of miracle, but another child to raise, care for and worry about. Not so! Rayma has been a joy in our lives that came to us in our later years. She has always had a smile, a zest for life, and loved to be sociable.
     Lanette babysat for us while I taught school. On the day the picture above was taken Rayma and Trevor had taken a nature walk on the dirt road near Vonae and Lanette's homes as they had seen us do many times. Lanette went to check on them after telling them not to leave the yard. She said, " It had just gotten too quiet!" Discovering they were missing and always afraid they may wander to the canal nearby, she ran frantically to Vonae's for help. Bert and Vonae lived on the next acre nearby. After she had frantically searched everywhere she ran to Vonae and Bert for help. They found them walking unconcerned on the dirt road back toward the house. They were chattering to one another hand in hand very unconcerned about their absence and the frantic search that was in process. They were in awe at all the concern that was going on, but they were told anyway to sit and think about the danger it had put themselves in and the fear that it had caused Lanette. The rocker was their assigned 'time out spot'. Love this picture because one can see they are a bit puzzled or humbled. Oh! the life of a toddler! Oh, oh the life of their parents! Notice the bare feet! That is for a purpose. It was their mothers' belief that once their feet met the stickers, small rocks, or hot road they would return to the yard or house. It was a type of cautionary measure. It didn't work for these two chatterers. 

Rayma and Dale at Grandmother Van Leuven's

    As Rayma grew she developed a radiant smile. She loved people, friends, and a deep compassion for those that hurt. Yet, she also could be a bit feisty. These two traits were her special trademark and is very much so today. They sometimes battle against one another inside causing her some turmoil. She also desires to become like the Savior, so she works hard each day to balance her special gift.     
     She got the nickname 'Smiley' from Bishop Martin Huber. His wife Sue, still asks me how 'Smiley' is doing. Rayma's smile became more beautiful as she became a teenager. It has warmed my heart often.

     Rayma has wanted more input into her story than the other children. That is again who she is. And is part of what the Spirit told me about her before on that day at church before she was born. "It would have been fun..." She kept us young longer. A caboose has a different role to play on a train and she was our caboose. She often complained about having that position in the family. I tell her someone had to hold that spot and she was chosen before she came to earth. It was out of my control! She reminded me of a special spiritual experience we had. One day when we were home alone. Rayma was coloring in a paint book of the life of Jesus Christ. When she got ready to color a picture of the baby Jesus she said, "Mom what is Jesus' favorite color?" She was about to color the blanket he was wrapped in. I replied, "I don't know. You could pray and ask." She hopped to her feet and went to the living-room to ask. She soon returned. She said, "It was yellow." I was silently amazed at her child-like faith. I thought to myself, "like the Sun that spreads its Golden YELLOW rays over the earth, YELLOW for the Son of God that spreads light and knowledge to the hearts and souls of his righteous children. Perfect!" Yellow became her favorite color and is to this day. Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it shall be given you: seek, and ye shall find, knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

Michelle, Rayma and Maria
Rayma's 5th Birthday, 1987
Cake made by grandmother Van Leuven
Picture taken at grandmother's home in Vernal. 

     The yellow sunflower became her favorite flower. Dale could not understand why for many years. He thought it a weed as most of us do. It grows wild along the roadside, fences, and fields. In high school she held a sunflower for some of her senior pictures. She also used it in her bouquet for her wedding reception. Her reasoning was of course, it was yellow and also it turns its face to the sun (the Son of God).

Karen, Kent, Kory and Kimberly

     Rayma did not spend a lot of birthdays at Grandmother Van Leuven's because Grandmother began having health problems. In 1989, she had kidney surgery for a spot that was possible cancer, and it wasn't to much longer after that she moved to West Valley. Rayma does have some special memories though of her later days. She remembers on a visit to Grandmother's West Valley apartment that Kent, Karen, Kimberly, and Kory were there also, and can still recall how happy everyone was that day. There was a special peace as we all visited with each other. Kent and Karen weren't to be with us much longer. Kent and Karen were always radiating love and cheerfulness. They never let anything diminish their positive outlook on life even though their health was not good. Karen passed away on the 6th January 1993 and Kent passed away a couple years after. Kent passed on the 12th of December 1994. Kimberly and Kory moved to Karen's parents.
     On another visit, Rayma felt Grandmother's loneliness as Grandmother told about walking to the grocery store pushing a special rectangular shaped shopping cart on wheels. She was not able to drive a car any longer. Rayma felt a deep sadness as she could feel her loneliness. The rest of us noticed her efforts to be happy. She had made friends with a couple that lived in the condo above her. They were not LDS but she was a special example to them and they to her. They became really good friends and she bore her testimony and spoke to them of her love for the gospel. She showed great pleasure in talking to us about the couple. She hoped they would convert. Also Rayma remembers that grandmother had a picture on the wall next to her bed at the rest home of Grandfather Van Leuven and longed to be with him. She told us on one of our last visits, "It has been so long since I last saw Ray! I have not felt his presence. He still is so far away!" Rayma said as she looked at Grandfather Van Leuven's photo she felt that it was like a beautiful eternal fairy tale. A fairytale that was not yet ended. Rayma has always felt so connected to Grandmother, Grandfather Van Leuven and her father (Dale). She believes these experiences with Grandmother have had a great impact on her life. 
     Grandmother Van Leuven passed away the 20th of August 2000, just before Rayma started her Senior year.

Left to right - Grandmother Vera Van Leuven, Michelle, Shirleen,
Maria, Dale, and Rayma (front of Dale and Maria)
Picture taken in Grandmother's West Valley apartment.

 

    Rayma loved the family traditions, reunions, enjoyed school, and ward

Back row left to right is Robin Young (Jerry's wife),
Danette Young Keel holding her daughter Karlee.
Front row left to right is Katrina Carlson,
Miquel Young (Robin and Jerry's daughter),
Michelle and Rayma dressed in their dance
leotards for Family Home Evening
Halloween Party, 31 October 1989.

functions. She wasn't totally happy with her birthday being on Halloween because it did not seem like her own special day. Our Family Home Evening gatherings continued as the older children begin to marry and have babies. The babies brought much love and joy to the younger children. They felt real pain and sorrow when Danette Young Keel and Kevin Keel lost their first baby suddenly, at about 3 1/2 months old. They had all played with Christopher and held him and he had become part of their lives. Rayma was still really young when
that tragic experience struck our families. She recalls the peace and assurance that death is not the end she does not remember feeling sad. 
     The picture of her in her dance leotards above reminds me of one other experience. Since dance was held in a Roosevelt dance studio among mainly Roosevelt children Michelle and Rayma felt they were out of their environment. They were! I felt that it was not bad nor an excuse to give up dance classes. As we left the studio Rayma was in tears because a rude Roosevelt child had pushed her around. She was not going back to dance "EVER AGAIN!" I knew life was not for quitters! As we stopped for gas I said, "Rayma Jean if Heavenly Father says you can quit then okay. While I'm inside paying for the gas you ask him." When I returned to the car the tears had been replaced with a smile. I said "What did you learn? She replied, "He told me to work harder." Because of my experiences growing up and finding that the Lord really answered prayers, I always tried to teach my children that when they had a problem they needed to pray to Heavenly Father to find direction. Prayer is so vital in raising a family. 

     Dale had to also teach Rayma that boys do not always know how to flirt properly. She then demanded respect from them or they were not on her roster as a friend. She brought this plain and clear to one of the boys in our ward. He called her to ask her to go to one of the high school special dances. She flatly turned him down and told him why. Rayma would not take their flirtatious teasing with a smile. She was always quick to put them in their rightful corner, even though it didn't totally stop as they enjoyed the venture and dare. They loved her feisty nature. She wanted respect! Those boys also lost a lifetime friend! One day she will need to forgive the thoughtless acts of boys that would have liked to date her, but did not know how to earn the privilege. Things were always black or white, right or wrong, bad or good, or sweet or sour in her way of thinking. No in between! We did not try to change her. Just explained or made suggestions to her occasionally. Yes, this was part of her fun nature.   

Rayma standing between Shirleen's legs
doing a part for Family Home Evening.

     She did not attend Headstart because the Ute Tribe decided it was a program for the Native American children and they cut out the other children in our area from the experience of having a pre-school. She attended LaPoint Elementary, rode the bus to Vernal Junior High, and Uintah High School.
     She remembers while attending LaPoint Elementary that on snowy winter days I would walk ahead of her and plow with my feet a path for her to walk to school in. She enjoyed her elementary years. She especially enjoyed staying after school in my classroom until I got lessons ready for the next day. She was also able to complete her assignments as I worked. Often we would go back in the evening with my sisters Jean, Vonae, and Lanette to walk the halls for exercise. She learned a lot of spiritual and correct principals as we discussed them during our walks. During the summer we walked the dirt road next to the Young's and Carlson's. It was a good mile down and back. No wonder Rayma and Trevor scared the wits out of Lanette the day they decided to walk and chatter as they strolled along. We had taught them. They were likely copy cats. We often gathered at Mother's house and discussed problems, the gospel, and life in general. Our children loved to take part in those discussions. Those children that did so learned a lot which they say has been a great asset in their lives. Informal gatherings are often some of the best methods to teach. 

Rayma, Second Grade 1991

   

   

Rayma was in her mother's homeroom in fifth grade.
Top row left to right - Errol Merkley, ( Principal),
 Shirleen Van Leuven, (Teacher) .
Rayma is in third row third from the left next to best
friend Stephanie Angus.

     In fifth grade she was taught in a team teaching situation. Her homeroom was my class homeroom. We had a new school principle and he had assigned teachers to new positions. I was teaching fifth grade when Rayma became a fifth grader. This was a special experience for both of us. 
     She was lucky to attend sixth grade in LaPoint before the students at LaPoint started to be bused to Vernal to attend Vernal Middle School. For several years the district would go through much change switching students and teachers. It was hard on teachers and students.
    Stephanie Angus was her best friend while attending LaPoint Elementary. But once they moved on to 7th grade and left LaPoint Elementary because of school boundaries Stephanie had to go to West Junior High and Union High School. It split their close friendship.

     

Trent with elbow on pillow as instructed by his doctor.
Dale Ray holding Rayma. No one felt like smiling.
Picture taken Thanksgiving Day, 1984 at Grandmother and Grandfather Perry's home.

     When she was born, Dale Ray was a sophomore, so she had a good array of older brothers and sisters to love, tend, and teach her. One of her greatest struggles was missing some of the teenage activities that they participated in. I'm sure she felt older than she really was and would have liked to be in the middle of their teenage activities. The picture taken of Trent, Dale Ray, and her tells the story of why her parents were cautious. Trent broke his arm the night before Thanksgiving Day, 1984. Dale Ray on the 19th of November had been helping the ward scouts cut wood at the sawmill to earn money for a scout project. Dale and Dale Ray drove to Salt Lake with his finger on ice to be reattached. Rayma had fallen down the stairs leaving a bad scrape under her eye.
     Rayma was nearing two years of age when Dale Ray graduated from high school and was nearing six when he married in March of 1988. Trent married in July the same year soon after he graduated, so life was changing in Rayma's world. Our home became much quieter with the two older boys gone.
     Rayma says, "I could feel the Spirit in our home. It was especially evident in the early morning because mother and dad got up early to prepare for the day ahead. Mother would be in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Dad would be most often building or feeding the fire in the fireplace, and rounding everyone up for family prayer. We'd kneel in the family room in a family circle holding hands for prayer. I especially could feel the spirit strongly in the kitchen and dining room after I woke-up. I think I noticed it there the most because we would read the Book of Mormon at the dining room table. When I moved out and left for school in Provo I missed that feeling. I then realized how much the Spirit resided in our home."

Picture taken after Trent's high school graduation, 1988.
Maria (top middle) Trent (top right)
David and Michelle
Rayma (front)

 
     When she attended Vernal Middle School she does not remember having a

Taken during a fun day at Lagoon.
Rayma in the middle, Michelle on
the left and Maria on the right.

real close friend but was sociable. Actually, I believe everyone was her friend, because that is what her teachers told us. Rayma just didn't see herself as others saw her. We were told over and over that it didn't matter where she chose to sit in class or even if they assigned her a seat it would not take long before everyone around especially the boys were visiting with her. She could even bring the shy ones out of their shell. She chose to have one close friend at a time if that person moved out of her life she felt that the Lord would replace them with another. She says when Maria and Michelle left home that was a really, really hard time and still brings tears to her eyes. She says I (her mother), then became her best friend. She has always had a close relationship with her dad.

Rayma 

A close friend to Rayma is someone that she can share her personal feelings. Yet, it would have seemed to others that she had many friends. The LaPoint and Tridell girls were her closest school friends from the time she began school until she left home for college. Those friends were Sharla Bascom, Raynie Horrocks, Melinda Hartle, Camie McKee, Taci Merkley, and Melissa Wallas. When Melinda Hartle graduated a year ahead of her from high school, she prayed for a new friend to take her place during her Senior year, and to hers and my surprise the friend did not come as another female friend but a male friend. He was important for her at this time as it was her Senior year. He took her to the special dances, and was a good friend. They remained friends after graduation and she saw him leave for a mission to Chile. She graduated along with her friend from Uintah High School with the class of 2001.

Rayma
High Graduation photo, May 1991.

2002 Honda Civic

     Before she graduated from high school she got a job at Wal-Mart in Vernal, and then later transferred with Wal-Mart in Orem to attend school. She applied for a school loan and got it. She got an apartment with her friends Sharla Bascom, Camie McKee, and Melissa Wallas. She then had to have a car so we went car shopping. She found a new one that she was able to handle the monthly payments on her own. Her first car was a new, dark green 2002 Honda Civic. She had them put a spoiler on the back. It looked pretty sleek as they drove it out of the garage and onto the parking lot. She was in seventh heaven.
   

Shaun and Rayma
Cami McKee and Steve Moyes (Cami's date) to the far right.
Picture taken the day of Sharla Bascom's wedding at 
the Salt Lake Temple.

We have to break the heavenly bubble by telling a story that makes the family smile to this day. When Rayma was about fifteen she began to feel her independence. This was not new, Dale and I had gone through the experience five other times and having done it ourselves  could see it approaching. She got a sweeping job at LaPoint Elementary with a friend, Taci Merkley. Taci's mother was the secretary so they got a prefect lead to the job openings. As summer drew near they got a job milking cows in Tridell, nearby, for Thelma McKee. They had over a hundred cows to milk in a modern barn with automatic milkers. Sounds clean enough! Not so for Rayma, she seemed to be in range of the cows occasional eliminating behinds. She certainly was not wearing beautiful smelling perfume when we drove from Tridell to bring her home. We had to prepare also. We had to cover the car seat with a bed sheet. She could not get home fast enough! She sat in a state of heaving her insides the whole seven or eight miles home. As soon as the car came to a full stop she ran for the shower. She suffered this in order to prove to her parents she needed a car because she was a working girl. It didn't work! We drove her to her job and drove to pick her up. We proved to be as long suffering as she was. Once she could legally drive she finally was able to get a job at Wal-Mart. She had to drive my car which was a bit of a downer as it was not classy enough. She called it 'The Boat'! We were finally smart parents! We could see each sneaky motive. Experience is the best teacher even for parents.
     After she graduated and moved to Provo she met a newly returned missionary, Shaun Monteer and begin dating him. Her good friend was on a mission in Chile. She ended up breaking that friendship which is a story of suffering she does not like told, think about nor even remember.  
      Shortly before the Nauvoo Temple dedication, 27 of June 2002 Maria, Rayma, and myself went on a bus tour to Nauvoo and surrounding church sights with the Wilkins Bus Tours in Vernal. We shall never forget this wonderful experience. As we gazed in awe at the temple at sunset Rayma blurted out that she wanted to be married in the Nauvoo Temple. I told her I didn't see that happening. At the time, her good friend was on his mission and was a Texan until he moved to Vernal. I could not foresee her dream being fulfilled. Marriage also involved a mates decision, so I just smiled at her dream! Then President Hinckley gave that special talk mentioning the Salt Lake Temple and Nauvoo Temple as being like bookends. Their doors faced each other over hundreds of miles. She set her goal in hard cement! She then decided she would have her endowments in Nauvoo and marry in Salt Lake. Still I doubted! I'm sure Dale was doing a little muffled doubting of his own. Shaun brought it to reality. He had served in the Independence Missouri Mission. Her goal became his! Her goal had been fixed in her mind before Shaun came into her life. So one can guess! That is what happened! There are many interesting events in our lives that are orchestrated from the unseen. This was without a doubt one of them.

Lagoon's Wild Bunch
Back left to right - Maria and Blake, Alaina (Trent's wife), Michelle, Dale Ray, David, Shaun and Rayma.
Middle left to right - Charidi, Trent, Korven, Dale holding Abigayle, Shirleen, Richelle holding Faith, Kati, and Cody.
Front left to right - Taylor (Marlo's niece) Chenille, Shaylynn, Kylee, Shelby, Justin, Adrianne, Samantha, and Kaden.
Everyone was told not to smile for this wild west bunch photo. Rayma and Shaylynn as always could not keep a smile hidden.

     Shaun was introduced to one large growing family! He came from a family much smaller. I wondered how he would adapt, but he didn't hightail it. In fact, Lagoon was a fun gathering for him. His family traditions include visits to Disneyland, and is now a tradition for their family. 

     We did exactly what I never would have believed we would do; we drove (Dale and a few others flew), to Nauvoo so Rayma could fulfill her dream of receiving her endowments in the new Nauvoo Temple. It was a beautiful day on the 24th of July 2004. The temple like all others was beyond our imagination, certainly a heavenly place on earth. We had a good attendance by family. We visited many of the church sites. Shaun knew of some the best places to eat, one was an Amish cafe. We then returned for a beautiful wedding in the Salt Lake Temple 31st of July, 2004.

Rayma with her flowers girls (nieces) 
left to right - Chenille, Samantha, Rayma holding Kylee, Shelby, Abigayle, and Shaylynn. 
Adrianne refused to be
in the picture.

Rayma and Shaun's wedding reception at Thanksgiving Point.
Rayma really likes this picture because the little green sign says "Please keep on the path."

      Shaun and Rayma's children:

     Braxten Shaun born on 20 June 2008, born in American Fork, Utah.

     Bradley Anson born on 3 October 2011, born in West Jordan, Utah.

     Cassidy Ray born on 10 January 2016, born in American Fork, Utah.

     

Shaun and Rayma's family at Disneyland
October 2016