Dale liked to race other cars at stop lights, and was discovering he was disappointed at the Chevelle's performance. A co-worker had an interest in cars too. They talked a lot about cars while working. Often Dale and his co-worker would challenge each other to a race.
One Sunday while Dale and I were at church, someone entered the garage and into the kitchen and helped themselves to some of our household items. Another not so pleasant experience happened on the way to a neighborhood laundromat. As I was driving west in the busy traffic of 3300 South, a young man ran into the traffic attempting to cross to the other side. The car going east hit him and tossed him straight into the air. He bounced like a rubber ball when he hit the pavement. He immediately stood and ran in front of my car and down the sidewalk going north. He had to have had some injuries! With no other choice but to proceed forward and find a place to turn around, I went back and searched the block he had disappeared in, but could not find him anywhere. I'm sure he was in shock! I was in shock myself, and couldn't get it off my mind for several days. City life was rough!
"THE STORM THAT WAS SENT TO BREAK YOU, IS GOING TO BE THE STORM THAT GOD USES TO MAKE YOU?"
I love this saying as it has a lot of truth. It describes another experience I had while we lived in Salt Lake. It was my first experience feeling the miracle of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the great love the Savior has for all of his children. I've continued to draw strength, understanding and knowledge as I've studied and read the scriptures. I came to more fully realize that the Lord was still teaching me of things that had been shown in the vision I'd had while still in high school.
Dale and I had just sat ourselves in the chapel pews for Stake Conference. Just about four and a half years ahead I had experienced the deep pain of rejection. Mother made a comment of this in her journal. "Shirleen received a letter from her returned missionary, Kay Jensen. She met, and dated him at Snow College, and they corresponded throughout his mission. They saw each other a week and half ago and all seemed good. The purpose of the letter was to inform her that he had a girlfriend from off his mission and that she was coming as soon as she graduated from high school so they could get married. It put Shirleen in bed for a week. She has been really sick!"
I had not pondered the healing that had occurred over those few years. As Dale and I were silently waiting, I felt as if someone had entered the chapel that I knew and was looking in my direction. I glanced toward the entrance and my eyes connected with the eyes of Kay Jensen. He entered with his wife and their two little boys. One was about three and probably a 7-9 month old in his mother's arms. They walked down the aisle next to us as they looked for a seat somewhere behind. The miracle I felt was that I was free of the pain of rejection. Over the years, I have felt gratitude for the time I waited for Kay while he was on his mission because it kept me in school. My teaching degree is a cherished part of my life, and has been a great blessing. If we put our trust in Him we will be led right. God does not make mistakes. Christ empowers us, perfects us, and becomes our strength. We need to submit, and trust that the Lord knows what is best for us. (see Alma 7:11-12; Alma 9:26.) We can be healed by the enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I had to have the opposition so I could experience pain. And in that brief few moments while sitting in Stake Conference, I witnessed a miracle inside of my soul. Pain to peace and forgiveness. From a broken heart to peace. I did not feel any pain, anger or malice, only healing. Only through suffering can we progress and grow. We must ponder the Lord's nurturing in all of our trials and tribulations. D&C 42:61; D&C 78:19. God wants us to receive light and truth by the power of the Holy Ghost through revelation, that endows us with gratitude. Its the catalyst that draws us to our Savior. Many times I've pondered the miracle of this eye to eye meeting, and the tender mercies of the Lord. Was our lives changed because of the move to Salt Lake? At the time, I'd viewed it as a waste. But now, decades later, I have wondered if there was a purpose. What are the odds that I'd ever see Kay again? Then to end up in the same meetinghouse, living in the same stake, and living within three or four blocks from us. Elder Orson F. Whitney wrote: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.” It was important so I could experience the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ!
We were due to welcome our first baby the last of March and it was fast approaching. I taught school until the last of January. There were two other teachers expecting a new baby about the same time. The staff had a baby shower for all three of us. Since our life was not rooted in a home of our own and we were among strangers, we chose the birth to be in more familiar surroundings. I left to go home to LaPoint a few days before our due date. Our plan was that I would call Dale as soon as labor started. We were assured that labor with a first baby would take hours and felt he would have enough time to drive to Vernal and be there for the birth.
Around mid-day on March 28th, I felt labor was starting and I called Dale. Mother, Dad and I drove to the Vernal Hospital. The nurse informed us that Dr. Stringham would not come in until they called him. After examination, she said I had quite some time before they needed to call the doctor. It was the doctor's day off and he had been fishing and was tired so he needed to get some sleep. Dale arrived and began to wait the hours away with Mother. Dad returned home and my labor continued without much progress. A well-seasoned and impatient nurse was my aide during the first eight hours. At one point she made the comment after I had moaned in pain, "What goes up has to come down." I thought, "I'm not here because I've done something immoral. I am here to bring a child of God into this world and I'm not too young to have a baby!" I was in so much lower back pain that I really didn't care too much about her rude care. She also told me that she couldn't give me anything to take the edge off because they did not want a sleepy baby. They needed the baby's help during the birth. Her eight hour shift ended. I'm sure she was correct about needing the help of my baby in the process of birth, because the nurse that followed said the same. I was taught growing up that medication was not good anyway. I really didn't want it in my baby's body, and was only happy to silently agree and continue to suffer.
Early morning of the 29th, I was totally worn out. I felt that I could not hang on any longer. The nurse had finally taken me to the delivery room, and was slowly getting things ready. She glanced toward me and quickly stepped up her pace and called for Dr. Paul G. Stringham to come to the delivery room immediately. He soon arrived, and stood on my left. He asked the nurse why he hadn't been called sooner. He then told the nurse to call Dr. Christian. He came just as quickly and stood to my right. Dr. Christian said, "Paul, you have this girl at the wrong end of the hospital!" I felt as if I was using every muscle in my body to keep from slipping into...WHAT? Then I knew, as if I had been told, that I was going to die. I looked over to the large waiting room window to take ONE LAST LOOK at Dale and Mother and felt encouraged and a rise in my energy knowing they were close by. Then I looked up at Dr. Stringham and said calmly with conviction, "I am going to die." He replied, "No, you're doing just fine." He took a hold of my hand. I relaxed my taunt body and as automatically as if I done it a million times I felt a change. Its hard to describe but I felt like a puff of smoke that swirled and twisted starting at the top of my head and moved toward my feet. I then realized that I was standing at the foot of the delivery table and noticed how brilliant the light in the room had become. I looked straight into the light above me. Normally, a light that bright would have hurt my eyes, but it didn't. I felt pure joy serge through me, saying to myself "I'm going home and I'm not coming back". I moved upward very rapidly passing the bright light. It felt so good to be finally out of pain and at peace. So good that I felt like a young colt bolting through a green meadow. I passed through the ceiling and entered a dark tunnel continuing to move forward rapidly. Suddenly I was stopped by an unseen barrier. Looking across the partially bluish lit tunnel, I noticed two lights in the distance moving in the same direction that I had just been going. The bluish light rays seemed to come from the end of the tunnel farther ahead. Without the light, the tunnel would have been pitch black. I sensed a being behind my right shoulder. I spoke to it asking, "What are those lights?" in reference to the two moving ahead, like a silent aircraft at night. Using mental telepathy to communicate as we already had done, my companion replied, "They are people like you traveling to where you were going." I then asked, "Why does one have a brighter light than the other?" Again, a reply came, "One gained more knowledge than the other while they lived on the earth. You need to go back and gain more knowledge." Immediately...
I was back listening to the doctors' conversation. Dr. Christian was a bit upset as he said, "Paul we lost her for several seconds. She is not going to take much more of this! This has gone on too long! You should have discovered this some time ago! You need to get that baby now!" A mask type instrument was put over my whole face and before I was unconscious they begin to pull my baby from me. It felt as if they were peeling me from the inside out. It was the most horrible feeling! Again I felt my body go taunt to keep from leaving it. Oh, I thought, I cannot not stand this any longer. My whole head and ears were filled with a very uncomfortable loud noise. Everything went black. When I awoke, our baby boy was being cleaned up. He had his battle wounds of scrapes, scratches, and an indentation in his skull along the front at his hairline, which remained noticeable for several years (well into his elementary school years), and he was mad. He had a healthy cry.
I never talked about or shared my near death experience for many years, but it was real to me. I'd felt whole, was able to communicate with my companion from the other side, and could see. In the 1980's, people begin to share their NDE experiences. I still remained silent, but discovered that many had experienced the same yet none were identical. Earth life experiences are not identical, but have likenesses also. Knowledge is what I was sent back for. I begin to seek, study, ponder and pray with a greater desire to learn, and took every opportunity inside the church and in my career to find what I needed to learn before I someday would return to stay. I hope my light will appear much brighter.
My mother's journal tells it from her vantage point from behind the glass window where she witnessed the struggle;
"March 28, 1966, Monday, Raymond called. He is sick and in the hospital in Washington D.C. Took Shirleen to Ashley Valley Hospital in Vernal. Leland went with me. Dale is in Salt Lake. Shirleen called him as soon as she was sure she needed to leave for the hospital." Surely, Mother and Dad felt torn that day. They faced their problems, and worries silently.
"March 29, 1966, Tuesday, Dale Ray born 7:48 a.m. Terrible birth! Shirleen in severe labor all night. Dr. Paul G. Stringham was there, and finally he called Dr. Christian to assist him. They used a new anesthesia by a heavy cap that they put on her whole head and then proceeded to finish with instruments. She nearly lost her life. Her spirit had already appeared to have left her body for a short time. Dale backed up and bowed his head. (Dale told me later that he backed up, sat down and began to pray. I am sure his prayer is what brought me back.) A lot of hemorrhaging during delivery. The anesthesia damaged her hearing and has never been good since. The baby's head was scratched and he had a crushed skull. It is a wonder that he came out of it. A rotten delivery!"
"April 4, 1966, Monday, Shirleen started with severe hemorrhaging in the evening, while we were at the school. I ran to our neighbor, Darlene Huber. She helped me get Shirleen into the car, and (she) called ahead to alert the hospital that we were coming. Darlene took our baby home with her. Shirleen had terrible tears, sticking afterbirth and infection. Very poor care through delivery."
"April 8, 1966, Friday, Called Raymond he is back at work at the Pentagon. Took Shirleen back to the hospital. Second time!"
"April 11, 1966, Monday, Brought Shirleen home from the hospital."
"April 15, 1966, Friday, Dale came from Salt Lake to take Shirleen and the baby home."
This was a hard time! As I was recovering from my difficult delivery, Raymond was stationed in Washington D.C. in United States Army Intelligence.
"May 6, 1966, Raymond left Washington D.C. to come home for a few days before leaving for Saigon on June 1st."
Mother, Dad, Raymond, Lanette and her baby, Shannon, myself and Dale Ray (about 9 weeks old) drove to Vonae and Bert's home in Bakersfield, California. We stayed the night with them. Raymond took the Greyhound Bus Lines from Bakersfield to Oakland, California to catch his flight to Vietnam. We were all very emotional, but were trying so hard to hold them in. Raymond stopped us a block away from the bus depot saying it would be much easier if he boarded the bus by himself. He was holding back his emotions as well. It was hard to watch him walk away, handsome in his uniform with his military duffle bag. We didn't know if we would ever see him again. Since Raymond was in U.S. Army Intelligence, our family wasn't allowed to have any pictures of him in his uniform. He'd told us there were pictures of him in foreign embassies, but none in the United States. We each captured one last mental picture until he disappeared at the end of the street.
Raymond, my only living brother, which we loved more than can be described was another instrument in the Lord's hands that would strengthen my testimony. He did that by his courage, quiet example, and Christ-like love toward his family. He was a friend, brother, classmate, and comfort in my life. I could not stand the uncertainty of not seeing him again. Many prayers were uttered for his safety while he was serving in United States Army Intelligence. While he was in Vietnam, I watched the daily news in hopes to get a glimpse of him. One day it actually happened. I called national news station and asked if I could purchase the news clipping. When they called back they told me that the soldier was highly guarded and had been accidentally caught on tape when he shouldn't have. It was a really nice lengthy clip, that brought him into our living room that day. Oh! How the tape would have been cherished! Raymond was questioning a young man (Viet Con), that had been captured. He was doing it in such a kind manner, showing his respect as a soldier to a prisoner of war.
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| Family picture taken after Raymond's return from Vietnam Back left to right - Lanette Carlson, Shirleen Van Leuven, Raymond Leland Perry, Vonae Young and Mary Jean (Jeanne) Merkley Front left to right - Velma and Leland Perry Today, June 14, 2016, Raymond, Mother and Dad have passed away and Lanette is fighting for her life. |
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